You walk past their room and it’s tidy. The laundry basket is suddenly empty. No half-drunk mugs of tea on the windowsill. The house is quieter than it’s ever been and it’s not peaceful. It’s strange. Unsettling.

Whether your child has headed off to university, taken a gap year, or set off to start an adventure of their own, nothing really prepares you for the silence they leave behind. The shift in routine is seismic. And for all your pride and excitement for them, there’s often a deep, aching space where their daily presence used to be.

You are not alone. This is a big change and it’s okay to grieve it.

Here are a few things that can help soften the edges in those first few weeks:

1. Acknowledge the Loss

This is a kind of grief the end of a chapter where your identity was woven tightly into theirs. Don’t rush to “keep busy” and suppress the emotion. Cry if you need to. Journal. Talk. This transition deserves to be honoured.

2. Create New Rituals

Mornings may feel especially hollow without the school-run chaos or hearing them thump down the stairs. Start a new ritual, just for you; a morning walk, a coffee in a café, or a call with a friend. It’s not about replacing them, but about gently filling the space with life again.

3. Stay Connected but Give Them Space

A quick check-in message or a shared photo can go a long way. But try not to hover. Let them breathe,  and allow yourself to trust that you’ve prepared them well. You’re not losing them, the relationship is simply evolving.

4. Reconnect With Yourself

It’s easy to forget who you are outside of being “Mum” or “Dad.” Use this time to reconnect with passions, friends, or dreams that may have been on pause. You’re still growing, too.

When my daughter left for university, I remember folding the last load of her laundry and feeling my throat tighten. But over time, I realised: she hadn’t left me behind, she was simply stepping into her own life. And now, I was free to do the same.

Empty nests don’t stay empty forever, they come back with new friends and adventures to share. But in the meantime this is your time to rediscover yourself.